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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23875411">Decaying Ice.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlminare/pseuds/fxlminare'>fxlminare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - The 100 (TV) Fusion, Angst, Azgeda, F/M, Grounder Culture, Ice Nation - Freeform, Original Character(s), Roan Fanfiction</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:02:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23875411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlminare/pseuds/fxlminare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Roxanne thought her life ended the day she was locked up for stepping up for herself and her mother; unbeknownst to her, the decision she made that day would change her life forever. What if the death of her past could be the birth of her future?</b>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>  <b>She doesn't think twice; once she's given a second opportunity, Roxanne is resolved to make every moment count, determined to make a life for herself. And living she will.</b><br/></p>
</div>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Roan (The 100)/Original Female Character(s), Roan/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. -prologe-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>『𝓇𝑜𝓍𝒶𝓃𝓃𝑒』</b>↠ of Persian origin, meaning ❛❛𝙙𝙖𝙬𝙣❜❜➣ BEGINNING.</p>
<p>♚</p>
<p><b>|| </b><em>If the morning light don't steal our soul</em>,</p>
<p><em>we will walk away from empty gold</em> <b>||</b></p>
<p><em>[</em>𝙃𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙚𝙮<b> - </b>𝙀𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙮 𝙂𝙤𝙡𝙙<em>]</em></p>
<p>♚</p>
<p>Incarcerated 3 years before her 18 birthday, Roxanne knew she'd do it all over again, standing up to her abusive father after he assaulted her mother in front of her, resulting in her death, watching as he got floated before she was locked up for crimes of assault, attempted murder, resistance to authority and disobedience.</p>
<p>Strong personality, blunt attitude, resilient and little to no interest in the rules, Roxanne knew her days were counted, her time in lockup resembling an eternity for her, marking down the days until her hearing, wondering how being floated would feel like, wondering if she'd die immediately or she'd undergo a couple of seconds of pure agony.</p>
<p>⋆</p>
<p>        </p>
<p>⋆</p>
<p>Against all odds, or what Roxanne thought were all odds, she gets a second opportunity; the event that she thought for so long had taken her future away from her seemed to be giving her now a new life.</p>
<p>⋆</p>
<p>
  <b>-The Ground-</b>
</p>
<p>Surrounded by people she doesn't trust and that, in return, are extremely wary of her, she concludes that, if anyone is going to take reigns of her life, it'll be her. But taking control may lead Roxanne to places she'd never imagined she'd see with her own two eyes, witnessing things she'd rather forget and meeting people she thought could only be found in books.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>❆ ❆ ❆ ❆</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>"She was powerful not because she wasn't scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear."</em> – Atticus</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>"No amount of me trying to explain myself was doing any good. I didn't even know what was going on inside of me, so how could I have explained it to them?"</em>― Sierra D. Waters</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will."</em> ―Charlotte Brontë</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>⋆</p>
<p>»𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰«<br/>
Swearing, descriptive violence, smut at some point <em>maybe</em>.</p>
<p>⋆</p>
<p>»𝔇𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔰«<br/>
English is not my first language so please excuse any misspellings that will -<em>probably</em>- occur.</p>
<p>I do not own the 100; however, I do own Roxanne's character and storyline.</p>
<p>⇣</p>
<p>
  <b>© seiraswriting 2020</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. -ℑ'𝔪 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p></p><div class="center">
  <p><br/><b>a/n:</b> I am, honestly, so excited for this story; I hope you guys are too and that you'll grow to love Roxanne as much as I do ❄️</p>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>"</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <b>You raze the old to raise the new.</b>
  </em>
  <b>"</b>
</p><p>
  <em>- Justina Chen</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>〄</b>
</p><p>That final class for Earth Skills had been nothing less than entertaining; Pike had walked in late, which he never was, and it was easy to tell something was bothering him, basically only pacing around the room for a couple of minutes before the disaster unraveled. A second he was talking about how he had tried to teach us all we'd need to know and the next, Murphy was on the floor, bleeding from his nose, and it was not like this time he deserved it; I mean, he had been pretty quiet, answering the only question Pike asked him. I rose from my place but Dustin pulled me back to my seat, shaking his head before crossing his arms over his chest. I eyed him; I wasn't sure why but we had been sitting together at these lessons basically since the beginning, he had been quiet most of the time, except for the eventual flirt trial -and error. I glanced back at Murphy who had managed to sit back on his seat as Pike turned around; I thought that was it, but I had been wrong.</p><p>- "I get it, you're trying to get me to fight back," -Murphy sniffled, placing his sleeve under his nose- "but I know how that ends for me."</p><p>- "Wrong."</p><p>Just like that, Murphy was on the floor again, Pike aiming his arm back to strike him again but, if I knew anything, it was that we had to help each other so I didn't think it twice, jumping on Pike and wrapping my arm around his neck from the back, pulling him away so that Murphy had at least a chance.</p><p>- "No one is coming to help you!"</p><p>Pike yelled as he grabbed my arm and I suddenly landed in front of him on my back, feeling like I had broken my spine as he went back after Murphy. I rolled on my stomach, wondering why no one was helping, we were all going to die either way! Dustin was soon in front of me, helping me up as I held my back.</p><p>- "Why did you do that?"</p><p>- "I don't like bullies." -I eyed him- "And neither should you."</p><p>- "I get what you're trying to say." -he winked at me, helping me get to a chair- "I got it."</p><p>I had forgotten for a second that Dustin was in here for murder and fear settled for only a moment as I realized what he might do, then I realized I didn't care so I simply stood there, watching as he went after Pike, soon a couple of other kids joining in and freeing poor Murphy. Pike fought back, of course, but something about the way he carried himself made it look like he was enjoying this; it stroke me as weird until I realized he was in a position of authority and those assholes were mad with power. It didn't last much longer though, a couple of guards suddenly walked inside with Kane, separating the kids from Pike before Kane started yelling at us. Could I bite my tongue? I could. But that day, was not the way.</p><p>- "Maybe you should ask why they were doing that."</p><p>- "What do you have to say, Roxanne?" -Kane stood in front of me- "I'm surprised you aren't part of this."</p><p>- "We were defending one of our own." -I pointed at Murphy- "Pike hit first, he got what he asked for."</p><p>- "You're not animals!"</p><p>- "I mean, technically, humans are animals so..."</p><p>- "Enough!" -he looked at the guards that kept coming in- "Get them to their cells." -he grabbed my arm and pulled me up, feeling my back burning.</p><p>- "Fuck, let go!" -I got rid of him- "Your friend over there threw me over his head and almost cut me into two against the floor."</p><p>Now that seemed to worry Kane for a moment, trying to get me to cooperate the next but I refused; I knew I had no broken bones but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Finally, and not wanting to make a bigger scene out of things, he commanded one of the guards to pick me up but I'd be damned, kicking him before he could touch me.</p><p>- "I'll take her." -Dustin took a step forward- "It's my fault she's like that, I should've stopped her."</p><p>Kane eyed me before focusing on Dustin again; I knew he was lying, I knew him all too well by now but, if anyone was going to carry me and I could choose, I'd rather one of my own. I nodded, taking a deep breath before Dustin moved his arm under my legs as I wrapped my own around his neck, clenching my jaw as he stood up, both of us being escorted by two guards back to medical as the rest of the kids were directed to their cells.</p><p>- "Morris, wait." -Pike called after him, but Dustin didn't stop, not until one of the guards forced him too, a loud, exasperated exhale leaving his lips.</p><p>- "What?"</p><p>- "Zylberdik." -I rolled my eyes as he articulated my last name, standing next to us- "I wanted to apologize."</p><p>- "Great, thanks, bye."</p><p>- "You're strong, you'll be okay, you'll survive."</p><p>- "Oh, I know." -I scoffed shaking my head- "I hope I won't see you again."</p><p>- "You won't."</p><p>He walked away but there was something about the apologetic tone in which he said it... guilty adults in a position of power were not something I was used to, so I dropped it, closing my eyes and wishing to be back in my bed soon. I hadn't been in Medical in a long time, just for the yearly check-ups since I got locked up; I mean, it wasn't as if I could get daily into a fight, right?</p><p>- "Why did you offer to help?"</p><p>- "Because that's less time in my cell." -Dustin looked down at me- "Maybe I'll get a couple more days after my hearing to live for helping you."</p><p>- "You trying to become a model prisoner now?" -I rolled my eyes, unable not to let out a dry chuckle- "You should have started a couple of months ago."</p><p>- "I got six more months, it's not me the one that should be trying to get on their good side."</p><p>- "They are not going to pardon any of us."</p><p>I knew Dustin, I knew he barely thought we he spoke, which was why I took no offense at his insinuation; I had accepted my faith months ago. Dying sounded better than spending the rest of my life locked up in a cell. I rested my head on his chest, thinking of my mom for a second, thinking of the future I had been so certain one day I'd get, unable not to remember the day everything went to shit too. At least I had stood up, I would never be a silent witness again; <em>"if you don't say something in the face of evil, then you're just as bad"</em>. That was my new mantra and I'd die by it.</p><p>I went back to my cell the morning after the incident, Abbie advising me to take it slow for a couple of days, getting some painkillers twice a day for a week and then... I was back on my own; I knew maintaining a good muscle tone was vital and I decided that'd give me something to do to pass the time, just like I had been doing before so, once I could move around without feeling the strain, I was back to my usual daily routine. But that didn't last much longer, another week had passed when everything changed.</p><p>- "Prisoner 375, one your feet."</p><p>I sighed annoyed, wondering why was I dealing with an inspection a week away from my birthday, what was I going to do? I stood up, placing my hands in front of myself like I usually was asked to do but this wasn't an inspection, realizing that when a guard grabbed my arm and put a massive metallic band around my wrist without even giving me a heads up; of course I protested, demanding an explanation when he forced my hands on my back, hearing the click of the handcuffs as they pushed me outside. I screamed that it wasn't my day yet, trying to kick them, looking around to see if there was anyone to ask for help, as much as I knew no one would care, only to be met by the eyes of other prisoners. <em>What the hell is going on?</em></p><p>- "Hey, what is this!" -I moved my face to the side- "Answer me!"</p><p>- "You'll find out soon enough."</p><p>Nothing made sense; I recognized kids from my Earth Skills lessons, most were still a year away from their new hearing so the thought that had crossed my mind about a general sentence was quickly pushed aside in favor of other, more worrying things. I couldn't help my mind going a thousand miles per hour, wondering what could have the guards so on their feet even when they had dealt with all of us hundreds of times before. I was finally shoved into a ship and that's when it clicked: they were throwing all of us out, but why? Being stranded in space was a cruel way to get rid of us and, as much as it pained me, it didn't exactly surprise me; at least not until I saw a couple really young kids being strapped to their seats. I fought back again, demanding an explanation at least for those two kids but, instead of an answer, all I got was a hit with the shook baton, leaving me sat still in my place as I closed my eyes, fisting my hands, feeling the belt around me before the cuffs were removed. I looked around me, seeing Dustin being forced to sit to my right.</p><p>- "Guess I didn't get on their good side soon enough." -he eyed me as the guards left.</p><p>- "I knew you wouldn't."</p><p>He let out a dry laugh, closing his eyes and getting comfortable; I wondered how he could be so calm about it but, then again, he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box. I kept looking around me, trying to see if there was something that could give me a clue about what was happening, hearing what sounded like a metal door closing and then like my stomach was rushing to my chest as I felt like we were falling, the screen in front of us turning on and showing Jaha.</p><p>- "Our favorite person!"</p><p>One kid in front of us joked, the one to his side fist-bumping him as I tried to focus all my attention on the small screen. Earth. Expendable. Reconnaissance mission. Good luck. Those were the words that stuck with me after the screen turned off. They were sending us to Earth after repeating time after time how the planet the human race used to live in would be inhospitable for, at least, another hundred years. I could barely believe it. They were using us as their guinea pigs; of course, they were, that's what the high spheres did all the time: live a life of luxury and stability while the rest of us had to deal with the harsh guard and rations. I hoped the Ark would implode, wishing there were windows in the ship so I could get a good look at it while it happened, but I wouldn't be so lucky. And there were people like me still in there. I decided I'd look at my new fate with a more positive outlook: maybe we'd die, yes, but maybe we'd find a new home, and the people like me could finally be free down here. Or maybe I was dreaming because I had actually broken my spine and I was in a comma, who knew.</p><p>Once the ship hit the ground, a general sigh of relief took over the silence we had been immersed in as we all felt the gravity pulling us down faster than it needed to, then everyone started cheering and clapping, getting free from their belts. I did the same, standing up, stretching my arms and thanking whoever was listening that they had sent me down here after my back healed, at least internally for I still had a massive bruise, but I could live with that. I ran to the lower level, only to be met with a guy wearing a guard's jacket, talking with a brunette girl and then... Clarke? Clarke Griffin, miss privileged had gotten herself locked up and sent with the rest of her peasants down here? Now that made me laugh.</p><p>- "Open the damn door, privileged!" -I pushed through the kids- "Move, friends."</p><p>- "We could die, the radiation..."</p><p>- "You don't remind me of your mom." -I stood beside her, realizing just then that Dusting had followed me- "If we don't open that door, we'll eat each other in here, you don't think they sent their guinea pigs with fruits and veggies, did you? Let alone water."</p><p>- "She's right." -the brunette girl from before nodded at my words before turning to the guard- "Open it, Bell."</p><p>Yeah, that was Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor as everyone had been calling her since she showed up in lockup; I wondered how her brother was there too, posing as a guard, if he had been kicked from the force. I didn't actually care so I just stood there, clicking my tongue at him, pointing at the door. As he pressed the lever and the door started to open, Clarke took a step back and I couldn't help but laugh, having to cover my eyes as the light from outside became too much, only uncovering them once I heard the door hit the floor, blinking hard a couple of times.</p><p>- "Wao."</p><p>I could barely believe what I was seeing, it looked so surreal, so taken from a movie... so much green, so many trees; I had only seen the big old tree in the Ark and we weren't even allowed to touch it so this? This felt like I had died and had traveled to another plane of existence. And I loved it. Octavia was the first to set foot outside, the rest of us soon following her, my first instinct was to run far away, explore the place but, what I actually did, was stay there, looking around me, drinking it all it, looking up, seeing the tops of the trees that were unbelievably high, birds flying past us; it was like dreaming with your eyes open. But there's always someone willing to ruin it for me.</p><p>- "Cool, a map." –a guy named Jasper whom I recognized from Earth Skills came out of the ship approaching Clarke and a guy with his back to me- "They got a bar in this town? I'll buy you guys a beer."</p><p>Clarke shook her head but the guy wasn't so subtle, grabbing Jasper from the collar of his jacket and pushing him harshly against the metal side of the dropship. <em>If you do nothing, you're just as evil.</em> So I did something, I grabbed the guy back and pushed him to the floor, looking at Jasper and asking if he was okay.</p><p>- "Thank you, Roxanne."</p><p>The next couple of minutes were both hilarious and fast-paced: the guy from before stood up, my eyes landing on him and immediately recognizing him: Wells Jaha. I narrowed my eyes as he tried approaching me but, this time, Murphy came to my rescue, smiling at me as he dealt with Wells. I was happy to see he was okay, as much as he wasn't my favorite person around; actually, no one was. A crowd formed around us in no time, Clarke starting to explain that we had to leave, Bellamy quickly taking a stance, saying that they -the privileged- should be the ones to work for once and I wholeheartedly agreed. And it was all going fine, the crowd dispersing, the people agreeing, choosing to stay here for the night and see how Earth treated us when Wells had to make a scene, again.</p><p>- "Well, I don't want to be here with her." -he looked at me- "I don't trust her."</p><p>- "Am I supposed to be offended or something?" -I rose an unimpressed eyebrow at him- "I'd rather you and your people would leave me alone, but not even when I'm sent to die can a girl get rid of the extra weight."</p><p>- "Do you trust anyone down here at all?" -Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest, both him and Murphy smiling at my words- "Apart from your little privileged friend."</p><p>- "I don't, but she..."</p><p>- "If anyone should leave, it's you." -Murphy took a step forward surprising me- "She had my back up there so I trust her more than I do you."</p><p>- "She's a murderer."</p><p>- "Hey, hey, hey!" -I shoved my finger to his chest; I couldn't believe he was trying to walk all over me when he was the son of the asshole that sent us all to die, of the person that killed people on a daily basis- "<em>Attempted</em> murderer."</p><p>- "Same difference."</p><p>- "Actually, it is different because no one died by my hand, unlike our local bad boy Dustin over there." -I pointed at him, a smirk on his lips that made me sick but decided to ignore- "You sure know he was locked up for actual murder, Jaha junior."</p><p>- "He had it coming."</p><p>- "Did anyone ask you?" -he winked at me and I swear it took everything in me not to tell him a couple more things- "Point being, they threw us all in here to die and we survived so, I say, let's live a little. If anyone's a murderer, a mass murderer, by the way, it's your daddy."</p><p>- "Who did you try to kill?"</p><p>- "Does it matter?" -Murphy, who had been the one to ask me, shrugged his shoulders- "My father. He's dead now anyway so I guess karma really is a bitch."</p><p>- "So you have a problem with male figures of authority, is that why you helped me with Pike?"</p><p>- "I have a problem with figures of authority in general because what they call 'law' I call 'an incredibly suspicious set of rules clearly marked at hurting the weak and nonprivileged'." -I rose an eyebrow at him- "And he killed my mother."</p><p>Murphy crossed his arms over his chest, nodding my way, something that looked like a sympathetic smile on his face while Bellamy seemed to be engrossed deep in his thoughts as Clarke eyed me up and down. Why did I tell them? Because I had nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of and, if anyone tried to tell me otherwise, they'd catch my fists.</p><p>- "I like her, she stays."</p><p>I furrowed my eyebrows, turning my head to look at Bellamy, his eyes on mine, a grin on his lips.</p><p>- "Since when do I need your permission to be or to stay?"</p><p>- "You don't but, if you want to stay, you're going to need someone to back you up because the kids don't like murderers." -I opened my mouth to correct him- "Attempted murder, I know, but they don't see the difference."</p><p>- "Whatever, it's not like I care." -I scoffed looking around us before focusing back on him- "I'm not the princess in distress and I don't need any of you to accept me."</p><p>- "You're welcome."</p><p>- "I'm not thanking you for being a decent human being."</p><p>Bellamy had this whole demeanor of superiority that I was dying to see get crushed to the floor; Murphy behaved like a bully a third of the time, another third like a jerk and the remaining part he was actually an okay person; Clarke was a privileged kid that clearly liked power while Wells behaved like a lost puppy without her. Needless to say, my options weren't looking too mindblowing at the moment, taking a second to weigh my options before choosing to go with the flow, see how things turned out for the option of leaving would always be there. As I walked around the place, a particular person's words came to mind: <em>"You're strong, you'll be okay, you'll survive."</em> I looked up at the sky. <em>Oh, I certainly will.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>Please, do feel free to leave me your thoughts or if you have any questions in the comments or drop by my inbox. Remember to like and reblog too!</p>
  <p>Love,</p>
  <p> <b>Seira🌸</b><br/></p>
</div>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. -ℑ'𝔳𝔢 𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>Long time no see! Apologies for taking so long to update but I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I've been playing with the idea of doing some Roxanne x Bellamy but not romantic, more like a physical thing. Thoughts? I knew I'd add smut to the story at some point also, are we cool with that?</p>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b><em>"</em></b>𝙄 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙖 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩. 𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙖𝙢<em>.</em><b>"</b></p>
<p>
  <em>- Princess Diana</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>〄</b>
</p>
<p>As it turns out, a couple of the things Pike showed us in class came in handy: building refuge, making a fire and keeping it from dying out, healing plants... Now I was glad I had paid attention, even if it had just been because I was bored and needed a distraction. Knowing all that stuff made me realize I was a valuable asset as soon as I looked around me and realized half the people down here wouldn't even know how to tie their shoes. I shook my head; it exasperated me. Especially since we had learned about the Grounders, the final reason I had decided to stay in the camp, at least for the time being, and until I learned something else about these people apart from their need to murder us. I wanted to make a life for myself but I wasn't stupid enough to just leave the camp unarmed and without knowing what I'd be dealing with out there.</p>
<p>We had also lost a couple of people to a weird type of fog: acid fog. Where did it come from? We had no idea, but we had all quickly learned not to go out alone and not to wander deeper into that side of the forest. If I ever left, I'd have to go in the opposite direction. I had been making a map of the surroundings of the camp in my spare time, not that anyone needed to know. Until Dustin saw me drawing it; I didn't care, it wasn't really a secret but I had wanted to keep it as one.</p>
<p>- "What's that for?"</p>
<p>- "Why do people use maps, Dustin?"</p>
<p>- "To go places." -he laid on his bed; we had been sharing a tent for some reason -probably that no one trusted us to sleep by our side due to our reputation as murders- "Or to leave one."</p>
<p>- "Clever boy." -I glanced at him- "You may not be as stupid as I thought."</p>
<p>- "But you're just as pretentious as I think you are."</p>
<p>- "You know what pretentious means?"</p>
<p>I focused my eyes on him, glaring at him before he busted out laughing. I ended up laughing too. Maybe Dustin wasn't the brightest bulb in the box but he wasn't a hypocrite and he didn't judge, at least not me; I could have been stuck with much worse. He sat back up eyeing me up and down before coming to look at the map over my shoulder.</p>
<p>- "You're planning on leaving?"</p>
<p>- "Maybe."</p>
<p>- "Now that you're the rebel king's right hand?" -he let out something similar to a chuckle but much lower and with a tint of annoyance to it, using the nickname I had given Bellamy because he kept acting like he owned Earth and because, well... we were the 100, the rebel's kicked out of the place they were born in- "We could rule this place."</p>
<p>- "I'm no one's second and I definitively don't wanna be stuck with the kids." -I pushed him back to stand up, rolling the paper to hide it again- "You wanna rule?"</p>
<p>- "I don't like the privileged."</p>
<p>- "No one does."</p>
<p>- "There's an easy solution..."</p>
<p>- "You aren't murdering anyone." -I eyed him- "Clean slate, remember?"</p>
<p>- "I'm just saying." -he jumped back on his bed, placing his hands behind his head and closing his eyes- "Accidents happen."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, exiting the tent and leaving him there. I didn't know the particulars of his crime but my instinct told me he wasn't really a threat to me and that was enough. If he wanted to get into a fight, that was on him. I doubted he'd go further than that. He was mainly just talking. Probably the reason Bellamy couldn't stand him and why Clarke always avoided him; well, Clarke was terrified of him too.</p>
<p>The next couple of weeks I spent acquiring as much intel about Earth as possible: plants, animals, resources, how to guide myself in the dark and through leafy terrain; if there was a hunting party, I was in it: both to learn how to hunt and to inspect our surroundings further. </p>
<p>- "I assume you know how to hunt."</p>
<p>- "Because I tried to kill someone?" -I side-eyed Bellamy- "I don't, but I will learn, don't you worry."</p>
<p>- "Good." -he handed me a knife- "You'll be comfortable with this or...?"</p>
<p>- "I didn't use a gun if that's what you're trying to ask." -I grabbed the weapon, running my finger over the blade, nodding as I realized it was properly sharpened- "I used my fists."</p>
<p>- "Wao." -he did look taken aback but also impressed- "I didn't..."</p>
<p>- "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I won't break your nose; in fact, I don't know how you still have it intact."</p>
<p>- "I'll remember that."</p>
<p>- "Good boy."</p>
<p>I grinned back at him as he smirked, eyeing me up and down. He was a player, that had been easy to figure out the first night. Did I understand everyone just enjoying themselves? Yes. Would I indulge in that? Still uncertain. But I knew Bellamy would be up for it and it wasn't as if the boy was unattractive so... who knew.</p>
<p>That day, we went out together with another kid acting as our gunner -Bellamy's rules. As we walked outside, I watched Octavia trying to help Jasper get over his fear for the outside. Poor kid, I pitied his situation; he had been taken by the Grounders, speared through the chest, hanged on a tree, almost eaten by a panther and, on top of that, some kids around the camp had wanted Bellamy to kill him because he was screaming in pain. <em>But I was the monster, sure. </em>I waved at them as we walked past them, Jasper only able to smile weakly at me for a second before he started looking skeptically around him as if he feared a Grounder would jump directly in front of him and slash his throat. Octavia nodded my way before focusing completely on Jasper again.</p>
<p>- "I hope he'll get better."</p>
<p>- "Jasper?"</p>
<p>- "Yeah." -I glanced back at Bellamy- "It'd be a pity if he went nuts because of what happened to him."</p>
<p>- "You're lucky you didn't see him."</p>
<p>- "You're the one who said I should stay back."</p>
<p>- "Because I needed someone to keep this place from burning down."</p>
<p>- "I'm not your second." -I made sure he understood how much that idea irked me- "I..."</p>
<p>- "Didn't say you were." -he wasted no time to cut me off- "However, you're always welcome in my tent."</p>
<p>- "And you're welcome in mine too but that's not the point of this conversation, Blake." -I stopped walking, forcing him to do the same as the kid acting as our gunner looked around, probably looking for somewhere to hide- "Don't ever use me again."</p>
<p>- "Fine." -he motioned at the kid to keep moving, walking away.</p>
<p>- "That's your answer?" -I scoffed walking after them- "Fine?"</p>
<p>- "What do you want me to say? I'm not going to apologize, I needed someone they feared to stay back to make sure no one else tried to take over."</p>
<p>- "You're the most selfless person I know." -I scoffed, quickly focusing my eyes on some bushes moving in front of us- "No wonder everyone likes you so much."</p>
<p>I threw my spear in front of me, hearing a high-pitched cry before the bushes revealed a pig stumbling toward us, motioning Bellamy with my head to finish the job, staying back and allowing him to get down and dirty with the animal. Now, who was using who? I had to admit, it had been fun walking around the camp and watching everyone move out of my way without me having to say anything about it but I'd rather not be there when the adults decided to come down because, even if half of us had taken out our bracelets, I knew they'd come down to find their two precious privileged kids and they'd ruin all the fun. No more freedom, back to being bossed around all the time.</p>
<p>- "Zylberdik, are you going to help or what?"</p>
<p>- "I thought you were perfectly capable of doing things on your own, Blake." -I mocked him, walking up to him and pulling out my spear from the pig- "Guess you need help after all."</p>
<p>- "What do you want?"</p>
<p>- "Freedom serves me just fine."</p>
<p>- "You know what I think of that." -he smirked at me, standing tall in front of me- "Do whatever the hell you want."</p>
<p>- "I could leave you here to carry that thing on your own."</p>
<p>- "But you won't because you're as hungry as I am and..."</p>
<p>- "And I know if it's us both carrying it, we'll get back to the camp faster." -I rolled my eyes, throwing the spear to the terrified kid that had come out with us- "Okay, smartass, how do we do this?"</p>
<p>It took us some cut and thrust but we finally agreed that building a small structure would help us carry the massive animal back with us; we didn't waste more time talking, quickly looking around for branches that could help us construct the platform, having to use all of our strength combined -alongside the kid's- to move the pig over it.</p>
<p>- "You should make a new rule: teams of three with a gunner plus four more to carry stuff back."</p>
<p>- "Lazy much?"</p>
<p>- "Don't tell me you wouldn't rather get Finn and Wells to do this."</p>
<p>- "Can't say I wouldn't."</p>
<p>- "Remind that next time, will you?" -I sighed, picking up the longest branch on my side, mentally cursing everything I knew as I realized how heavy the thing was- "I'm not made for this life."</p>
<p>- "Then, what are you made for?"</p>
<p>- "Mess up with the kids, have a little fun, explore the place..."</p>
<p>- "Get killed by the Grounders."</p>
<p>- "Always so optimistic." -I scoffed, motioning him to pick up his side- "Come on, I'm hungry, sir rebel king. Get moving."</p>
<p>- "If you keep calling me 'rebel king', I'm going to need something to call you in exchange."</p>
<p>- "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pull, come on."</p>
<p>I had to recognize that having ended up on Bellamy's side had happened without almost noticing, mainly because I couldn't stand Clarke and her need to always come on top with her righteousness. I understood she meant well but, still, I could only see a privileged kid when I looked at her. I wasn't sure how Bellamy was dealing with it but I felt no shame saying I didn't care either.</p>
<p>Once we got back to camp, we were received like heroes, which I couldn't say bothered me in the slightest; maybe I'd make bringing food my thing so that people would understand that just because I had tried to murder someone, I wasn't a jerk or dangerous. <em>I mean, everyone is dangerous if given the opportunity, right?</em> I left Bellamy to shower himself in the praise of the kids and walked around the camp, finding Jasper coming out of his tent, walking up to me with a big smile on his face. I had met him in our classes with Pike, we hadn't spoken much but he had always made me laugh so it was easy to be around him and, for once, he didn't seem to have any issues with me, which was refreshing, to say the least.</p>
<p>- "How was your little trip with mister entitled?"</p>
<p>- "Not bad, really." -I looked in the direction Jasper had her eyes glued to, finding Octavia walking around with another girl, unable not to smile to myself- "How are you doing?"</p>
<p>- "Better, I managed not to have a meltdown when I stood out earlier. When you left, you know?" -I nodded- "Still, I'd prefer to stay inside."</p>
<p>- "You don't have to go out if you don't want to." -I squeezed his shoulder- "But staying trapped in here will only increase your fear."</p>
<p>- "Would you come out with me tomorrow?"</p>
<p>- "Me?" -I couldn't help the amused tone to my voice- "The murderer of the camp?"</p>
<p>- "That's Dustin. You're just 'miss attempted murder'." -I gave him a look and he smiled at me- "What? Who better to protect me than someone that likes trouble and putting up a fight as much as you do?"</p>
<p>- "Okay, fine, you don't have to sweet talk me into not having to do the chores Bellamy likes to dump on me."</p>
<p>- "If you were an ass to him, he wouldn't even notice you."</p>
<p>- "Something tells me that's not true." -I caught Bellamy's eyes on me, smirking at me as he rose his arm to flex his muscles for a couple of people around him, making me roll my eyes- "He knows he needs me on his side to keep the camp under his rule."</p>
<p>- "Because the kids fear you."</p>
<p>- "Exactly."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please, do feel free to leave me your thoughts in the comments or if you have any questions. Remember to vote too!</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>Seira🌸</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. -𝔰𝔬 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔶 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em><b>"</b></em>𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙄 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙢𝙚. 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢<b><em>."</em></b></p><p>
  <em>- Mae West</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>〄</b>
</p><p>The next couple of days were pretty calm: I had made hunting my thing so I was barely ever bothered with some other stupid chore around the camp and, if I saw that was coming, I simply grabbed a spear and the first gunner I found and pulled them out with me. Most often than not, it was always Bellamy laying around just when I was looking for someone; I had the feeling he did it on purpose but, truth was, I didn't mind: he knew what he was doing and he didn't walk around like he feared I'd stab him on the back. My mornings usually consisted of going out with Jasper and taking a walk around the perimeter, sometimes with Octavia and sometimes them going out and me following them because Jasper told me he felt better if I was around. I didn't know why exactly he trusted me to fight a Grounder for him instead of running but I liked to think I'd do it.</p><p>- "So, not hunting trip today?"</p><p>- "Why? You need to burn some of that ego that threatens to drown everyone around you every time you open your mouth?"</p><p>I looked up from the fire I was helping Harper to build, seeing Bellamy standing directly next to me with his gun on his belt and my spear on his other hand. I wasn't surprised completely but it was usually me dragging him out instead of him asking me. Maybe something had happened. No, something had definitively happened; I knew it as I saw the lack of smirk on his face and Finn trying to calm Clarke down a couple of meters back from where we stood.<em> What now?</em></p><p>- "I guess going out won't harm us." -I stood up, seeing the relief in Bellamy's eyes but not enough for the rest to pick it up, handing Harper my tools- "I'd ask whether you can manage without me, but I know you can."</p><p>- "Come by later and I'll show you how a fire is built."</p><p>- "Sure thing, McIntyre, sure thing."</p><p>I grabbed the spear from Bellamy and motioned him to move in front of me, not saying another word as I followed him towards the camp's door, just catching a couple of words from Clarke and Finn's conversation but nothing really out of the ordinary for those two. Bellamy was oddly silent as we moved away but it was easy to tell he was trying to get somewhere as he went over something on his head so I decided to let him be, starting to track an animal but, in the end, I just couldn't stay quiet.</p><p>- "Are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to guess?"</p><p>- "What gave me away?"</p><p>- "Well, for starters, you came looking for me." -I rose up, patting my hand on my leg to clean the dirt from it as I turned to face him- "Then there's your unusual quiet state and the lack of snarky remarks and sexual innuendos around me. Plus Finn and Clarke trying to keep it low but failing as they do."</p><p>- "I see." -he looked around, as if he still thought someone could hear is in the middle of the forest when it was just us two out of the wall- "Wells' dead."</p><p>That took me a bit by surprise, not because I liked or cared about the guy but because Bellamy seemed concerned about it which was very out of character for him. I furrowed my eyebrows as he kept his eyes on me; Wells never went out of the fence so how exactly did he die?</p><p>- "What happened?"</p><p>- "He was stabbed just outside the gate."</p><p>- "Grounders?"</p><p>- "That's what I need you to help me figure out."</p><p>- "We are here for clues, not to hunt dinner, are we?"</p><p>He nodded; he had tricked me and, usually, I'd be mad but if Wells had been murdered out the fence by a Grounder, that meant that could've been Jasper or Octavia or either of us so it worried me more than I was willing to admit. I pursed my lips and looked around, to the tress and the bushes. Why kill just one of us when we are all literally right there?</p><p>- "Did they leave his body right where they killed him?"</p><p>- "Yeah, why?"</p><p>- "I need to see it."</p><p>- "Are you sure?"</p><p>- "I'm not a child, Bellamy." -I grabbed my spear that I had forced on the ground while I searched for our track- "Take me there, we need to figure this out."</p><p>He was quick to move, guiding me again through the trees, same direction we had been going towards until he stopped as I stood next to him; I didn't need him to point me where it had been, I handed him the spear and jumped down the small slope, seeing a dark mark on the soil, knowing it was going to be blood even before I got there. I looked around; it was the perfect place for an ambush and I wondered what Wells was doing there alone. Yeah, it was just outside the wall, if I went back to where Bellamy stood, I knew I'd see the wall which begged the question: would a Grounder risk being seen just to kill one of us? I looked around. There were no boot marks aside from mine where I stood so it could've definitively been a Grounder from a tree.</p><p>- "Where's the body?"</p><p>- "Clarke insisted on burying him as soon as we found him."</p><p>- "That's dumb." -I walked up to him, taking the hand he offered me to get up the slope- "Now we can't see any clues his body might have had."</p><p>- "He was stabbed on the right side of his neck, he bled out."</p><p>- "Clean stab?"</p><p>- "From what I could tell, yes."</p><p>- "Anything else?"</p><p>- "Three of the tips of his fingers were cut off."</p><p><em>His fingers? That's weird; why would a Grounder cut his fingers off? Send a message? But which? Maybe Wells tried to defend himself and they cut his fingers before stabbing his neck. But he'd have screamed if he saw a Grounder, which meant he couldn't have seen them. So the fingers were cut once he couldn't speak: after he was stabbed. So it'd be stupid for a Grounder to do that, it wouldn't inflict more pain and they had nothing to do with the tips of his fingers.</em> I motioned Bellamy to stay put, walking around. It was a weird death: no torture but painful and the fingers... I wasn't an expert detective but something seemed fishy about all this.</p><p>- "Sit here."</p><p>- "Why?"</p><p>- "Because it looks like someone was and, seeing the only person out was Wells, it could only be him."</p><p>- "What are you going to do?"</p><p>- "Attempt to kill you."</p><p>To my surprise, Bellamy only furrowed his eyebrows for a second but planted the spear on the floor and did as I said, not questioning me further. I took a couple of steps back. There wasn't really a tree they could have come down from with a rope and stabbed him, they were all too far for that, so the murderer had to have come walking. It couldn't be from in front of him or his right, for he'd have seen the Grounder coming; to his left, there were a bunch of branches that'd crack under boots so it had to be from the back. But... his back was to the wall.</p><p>- "Bellamy, it doesn't add up." -he turned his head to look at me, the look in his eyes was answer enough- "But you already knew that, so why bring me here."</p><p>- "Cause I needed to know I wasn't seeing things." -he stood up and faced me- "And you've gotten to the same conclusion I did: it couldn't have been a Grounder."</p><p>- "It was one of us."</p><p>As I was walking back to him, I saw something just next to my boot that called my attention, so I lowered down and moved the branches to the side, finding the last clue we needed to solve the mystery.</p><p>- "And I've found our proof."</p><p>I took a small branch from beside me and pulled out what I had seen as Bellamy squatted next to me, placing the weapon in front of him: there was no denying this was the knife that had killed Wells: it was covered in blood and had the fingers just next to it.</p><p>- "I know that knife." -he grabbed it carefully- "It's Murphy's."</p><p>- "What's Murphy's?"</p><p>Clarke was running towards us, definitively having been spying on us; I had felt eyes on us but I figured it was someone from the wall. This was a mess; I saw it in Bellamy's eyes as we stood up and Clarke started demanding an explanation so I zoned out. Murphy was a jackass and an asshole and a jerk, but was he a murderer? I remembered our classes together; he was a troubled guy with a lot of issues but he hadn't even been willing to fight Pike back when he could have murdered him on the spot. He wasn't a killer. He was a talker and a bully but he was just words.</p><p>Clarke grabbed the knife from Bellamy, almost cutting his hand as she did, and shoot running back to camp, pulling me out of my head and running back with Bellamy. She was going to make a mess out of this. I managed to catch her just as she got inside, pulling her back to me, forcing one of her arms behind her back and my hand on her mouth; Bellamy grabbed the knife as Clarke tried to fight us.</p><p>- "What the hell is wrong with you?"</p><p>- "Clarke, shut up and think for once in your life."</p><p>I let go of her and made my best to explain the situation to her; Bellamy agreed with me, saying we needed to investigate this and keep it low before shouting it in public just like Clarke wanted to do but, of course, she wasn't listening; when did miss control freak listen? Never. She kept screaming and making a scene like she liked to do, grabbing everyone's attention until it was too late, running towards Murphy and pushing him to the floor, throwing accusations at him, and grabbing the knife from Bellamy and shoving it to Murphy's chest.</p><p>- "She will get him killed." -I stood next to Bellamy as the crowd formed around us, Clarke accusing him and Murphy doing his best to defend himself- "He really looks like he had nothing to do with it."</p><p>- "But it was his knife."</p><p>- "And this is your gun." -I rose my hand in front of him with it- "Someone could have taken it like I just did."</p><p>- "And what do you suggest we do?" -he simply grabbed his gun back, not questioning when or how I took it.</p><p>- "Definitively not like the Ark, a proper trial."</p><p>But we didn't really get the chance to even suggest it, the crowd was soon a mob asking for Murphy's head, neither of us could really stop them as 40 kids surrounded Murphy and started pulling him away. Clarke was, of course, now screaming at us, saying that Bellamy needed to stop this as if it hadn't been her and her lack of brains the cause of this mess now. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, turning around and finding Dustin there.</p><p>- "It wasn't him."</p><p>- "How do you know?"</p><p>- "Cause he was with me." -I furrowed my eyebrows at Dusting confession; it was not something I had expected but it could help us... no, it couldn't.</p><p>- "They aren't going to believe you."</p><p>- "I know."</p><p>Bellamy had heard it just like Clarke, who was now screaming at the kids to stop; so much for leading. I shook my head and started walking towards where they had taken Murphy, seeing they intended on hanging him. And I decided to try.</p><p>- "You idiots, what are you doing?"</p><p>- "Floating him!" -Connor walked up to me- "Would you like to do the honors? Achieve the murder status you didn't quite get..."</p><p>- "Shut up."</p><p>Connor was soon on the floor after Dustin came to my assistance, not that I needed it but I was not feeling a fight at the moment and, if Connor wanted one, I was more than happy to let Dustin take over. Connor quickly moved away, the kids silencing slightly as Dustin motioned me to keep talking. Maybe I should actually be ruling this place.</p><p>- "You're making a mistake. Murphy is not Wells' murderer."</p><p>- "And how do we know you aren't just defending him to kill him yourself?"</p><p>They were thick in the head, really. I rolled my eyes and looked at Bellamy for a second and then at Murphy, who was looking scared out of his mind.</p><p>- "Because he has an alibi, you dumb heads."</p><p>- "And who is that?"</p><p>- "I am."</p><p>Dustin spoke with a serious tone and the camp went more silent than I had ever heard it; it didn't surprise me, since when did Dustin stick his neck for someone else? Not often. Never since we met, honestly. I heard the murmurs but I also knew, once the seed for the bloodthirst was planted, it was hard to kill; we needed the real killer. Maybe we could make then come out.</p><p>- "I need you to hold them up for as long as you can."</p><p>- "How?" -Dustin glanced at me.</p><p>- "However you want."</p><p>I moved back after he nodded, grabbing Bellamy and pulling him with me, knowing Clarke was following us by her rushed step after our calm one.</p><p>- "What are you doing? Leaving Dustin alone....?"</p><p>- "For your information, Dustin is more trustworthy than you are, privileged; he is a murderer but he is not a liar."</p><p>- "You are thinking of something, what is it?"</p><p>- "We know it wasn't Murphy like we know it wasn't any of us."</p><p>- "How do we know it wasn't you or Dustin?"</p><p>- "I was with Bellamy last night, Clarke, shut up and listen."</p><p>I hadn't been with him but I knew that'd keep her quiet like I knew Bellamy would go along with it; I knew it hadn't been Bellamy and I trusted he knew it hadn't been me.</p><p>- "It had to be someone Wells wouldn't see as a threat, that's the only way they could've gotten so close to him without him making any noise or screaming for help, right?" -they both nodded- "We can assume it wasn't any of your dogs or any of the older kids because we know Wells didn't like any of them."</p><p>- "Are you saying it was one of the youngest?"</p><p>- "I am."</p><p>- "But they are kids."</p><p>- "Everyone can make a murderer under the correct stimuli, Clarke, even you."</p><p>I heard someone falling flat on the floor on their face: Dustin. It angered me so I ran towards him in time to catch Tim's hand with mine and shove my fist to his stomach, forcing him back. It was a mess, more people getting in on the fight until I was grabbed back and pulled away, seeing as Dustin kept throwing punches left and right, trying to get rid of whoever thought I needed help.</p><p>- "They will kill you too, Roxanne."</p><p>- "Contrary to popular believe, Bellamy, I don't need help."</p><p>- "You don't have to be an ass about everything, you know?"</p><p>- "You do realize they will hang you too if you don't murder him, right?"</p><p>I glared at him as he let go of me, both of us watching as they tightened the rope around Murphy's neck and screamed for Bellamy to push the box. I doubted he'd do it and I panicked when I saw them getting another rope ready and Connor pointing at Dustin.</p><p>- "You will have to forgive me for what I'm about to do, but you owe me."</p><p>- "What..."</p><p>- "Dustin, kick it!"</p><p>Half of me hoped that the real murderer would come clean out of a bad conscience and my other half was concerned with Dustin's safety; he had helped me with Pike, I owed him this much: if he kicked the box under Murphy's feet, we'd both be safe, Bellamy wouldn't have to do it or get hanged for not doing it right after which meant the camp would land on Clarke's hand completely which was something I didn't want and, hopefully, Murphy would not die immediately, giving enough time for the real killer to step forward.</p><p>Dustin crossed glances with me as if making sure I meant it, so I nodded, Bellamy grabbing my arm and trying to stop me while Clarke screamed as the box fell to the side and Murphy was hung; I felt sick to my stomach as I watched him struggle to the point I thought I'd vomit but refusing to show it, taking in a deep breath when I heard someone's voice confessing, immediately picking up my knife and throwing it to the rope, seeing Dustin catching it and cutting it himself, catching Murphy before he fell flat on his face, breathing heavily.</p><p>- "Charlotte?" -Clarke's voice was weak as if she couldn't believe it- "You..."</p><p>- "It was me. I killed Wells."</p>
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